Although absolutely nothing has entered my mind, or so it seems, actually there’s always something drifting through: a bottle of Bolly, for instance, connecting Absolutely with Fabulous. My mind teems with endless spirals of thought. ‘Catch them if you can,’ it says. Maybe there might be one that is a bit, a tiny bit more important than the rest.

An Absolutely Outstanding Thought!

What, who could that be?

A crazy car, for example, that does somersaults; man turns into fish through gawping; a chair that you can sit upside down in; a water company CEO who turns into an otter; a bottle of Bolly that gives you everlasting life. But this is crazy, bonkers and not the sage side of my mind.

Suddenly, I’m in the grass outside my window but I’m miniscule. It is a forest to me and the roots are monstrous! Oops, here comes a big foot! Run! I stumble into the earth and become a fast growing tree, faster even, than Jack’s beanstalk. My branches wave above the owner of the foot who is now a lot smaller than me and, like JK’s Whomping Willow, I pick her up in my branches and swing her around. But instead of being scared, she shrieks with laughter. ‘More, more,’ she cries, like a young child. But in an instant I cease being a tree and we both drop to the ground with a not-too-serious bump and run up to the house for tea.

Burble, burble, burble, my mind still carries on but I think I’ll turn to the sanity of music. La!